Mana

This Thanksgiving...now dubbed the Thousand Mile Thanksgiving...was planned down to a T.  Relaxing Wednesday evening...parade-watching and cooking on Thursday...family visits and more eating on Friday and Saturday and resting on Sunday.
You know what they say about making plans...there are no plans, but God's plan... and if you make plans...God laughs!

So here was God's plan...
My sweet little 95 (almost 96) year old grandmother, Martha, or better known as Mana, took a turn for the worse on Monday and seemed to not recognize some of her family or nurses.  Thus began the potential for plans to change.  Now, she's taken little downturns here and there, but usually rallies back and before long she is in her chair "reading" her shows with the mute and the closed caption on. ha  As she seemed to rally on Tuesday, I kind of let it go, as we were busy with school feasts and parades (Bebe was in her first parade) to attend to.  Plus, Mana always wants you to "tend to your little family" and don't worry about her. 

But then Wednesday it lay HEAVILY on my mind that we should go see Mana.  I couldn't think of anything other than Mana and that maybe we should take a trip to Birmingham to see her.  My dear sweet husband...a very tenderhearted guy when it comes to family...said he would do whatever we needed to do and would support me in whatever decision I made.  I spoke with my mom, who said she wasn't going because she had just been there a few weeks ago and my brother wasn't going...so for a little while I thought maybe I wouldn't go either.  But then I spoke with one of my friends who lost her father awhile back and she knew I was just delaying the inevitable.  She said...you know you're stalling and talking yourself into going.  So when Jason got home from work he helped me make the decision to just go at 5:00!  We packed up the kids and were headed out of town by 6:00!  We didn't tell anyone except his mother that we were going because we didn't want anyone to worry about us or feel like they had to prepare/entertain us. It is a 7 hour drive, including a food stop and pajama stop.  We arrived in Mountain Brook at a little before 2 a.m.  We settled into the hotel and finally slept around 3:30.  At 9:00 we were up and at 'em!  We breakfasted, swam, dressed and were on our way over to see Mana.  THE PLAN was to stop by and see my grandmother for just a few minutes and then head home.  Yes, that seems crazy to some....a 14 hour drive for just a few minutes, but my grandmother is TOTALLY worth it!!  And we did it last year, too! 
Once we got there...my aunt, who lives with Mana, answered the door and we said in unison..."Happy Thanksgiving!"  I thinked she was surprised, shocked, speechless, etc.!!  I think she was a little panicked too because she was in the middle of cooking Thanksgiving lunch for her son and his family.  But also because Mana had started having a bit of a rough morning.  When I saw Mana that morning she was in a totally different state than I had ever seen her.  I knew she wasn't in her chair in front of the tv with her newspaper, but I wasn't expecting to see the pain on her face.  The lady who helps out and sits with Mana said she had never seen Martha like this.  She recognized me and told me she loved me.  She knew Jason and each of the kids.  She spoke to each one and told them she loved them.  She held Sassy's hand several times and tried talking to her in a baby talke voice.  We were going to leave, but then my cousin and his family arrived for lunch so we stayed to see them.  Then my aunt insisted we eat having fixed a huge lunch!  What a better time to decide to stay than on Thanksgiving...a day to give thanks and be with FAMILY!  Especially family that you used to eat EVERY Thanksgiving with in years past!  We ended up staying until 4:30 and I am SO, SO, SO, SO, SO GLAD WE DID!  As the day went on she continued to decline rapidly.  Before we left on our long journey home, I told her I loved her and that I would see her soon.  Jason and each of my children did the same...and it nearly broke my heart...knowing this would probably be the last time we would see her.  She held on to Sassy's hand again at the end and looked at her talking to her and Jason swears he saw an energy pass from Mana to Sassy.  He is not one to make stuff up or profess some fantastical religious connection or anything, but just some little light or energy...a little part of her soul or maybe it was just love.  Only God knows.  However, after we left Mana did not receive any greater comfort from her meds or from her sleep...she passed during the night.  And we are so thankful!  No one should suffer such pain and we're so happy she is in heaven! 

The next morning when we received the news there was a great sense of relief for Mana that she was delivered from her pain and with her husband and family in heaven, but also a little for ourselves that we had seen her just in time and said our good-byes. 
When I told Bebe she said with some sadness and some delight..."Well, I think it is sad, but at least she is in heaven now and she can help Granny B make the sunsets!  Just two little old ladies hanging out up there together!"  I agreed.  (Jason's grandmother, Granny B passed away about 4 years ago.  Her favorite color was pink, and when we see a sunset, especially those with lots of pink...he reminds them that Granny B is making them a sunset)  So I guess now Granny B has a sunset partner!
One of the things I am the most grateful for is that Mana did not require a lot of care until right up until the end...she died in her sleep...at home...having seen her great grandchildren and most of her family that very day...just like she wanted!

I will always remember Mana making chicken pie and chicken casserole (with raisins tucked into one corner for the few that wanted it) for Thanksgiving (and Christmas)...our menu rarely changed for get togethers.  I will remember the canned biscuits she popped in at the last minute and how fantastic they were dripping from their centers with butter! 
I will remember...
her green plaid chair perfectly placed to view her t.v.
the way she pursed her lips to kiss you on top of the head
her soft slender fingers and perfectly shaped fingernails
her love of the birds and feeding them at her window and her dislike of the dang squirrels that tried to get her birdfood
her cool front living room that was a great place to go after the warmth of the kitchen.
her love of the Braves and golf and the Young and the Restless...the Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune
her flossing and her floss...no matter what...twice a day
that she played countless games of Scrabble, card games, Sorry, etc. with us
she had some old dolls in a closet set aside for me (as I was the only granddaughter)
the sound her ashtray made (back when she smoked) as she moved from counter to stool and the little ring in it that she used to put her cigarette out
a kleenex tucked in watch sometimes
letting me use her little lotus flower dishes more than the boys for fear they would break them and she always let you pick which color you wanted
her cards where she always signed...I love you very much.  Mana
her $25 birthday checks written in her sweet hand
she always had Golden Grahams or Cocoa Puffs when you came to stay the night and vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup...although once in awhile she'd break out the fudge ripple
she would take me to the mall sometimes when I would visit, but only before 10 or 11 a.m. based on the humidity and it messin' up her hair
her crossword puzzles
her itchy scratchy guest bedroom comforter and the sunflower painting that always sorta scared me
her sequined calendars and stockings
her closet full of shoes and pantsuits and bird sweaters/vests
her long robes
her scuffs
shopping at Food Lion for eggs and pimiento cheese
her soft, soft sheets
her reading the newspaper everyday
crayons in the little desk and pipes left just so in Pop's old room
her telling Pop to close his door to his messy old room back when he was alive]
the tick-tock of her hall clock
her clip on earrings and her rings piled on her little ringstand
the little telephone table in her hall that seemed so funny that people would sit and talk on the phone in just one location
her room was so pink and girly
her pink, pink, pink bathroom and tiny potty
her Christmas decorations...plastic mistletoe...felt elves...little ornaments and packages
her hand towls with the W's in gold
her grandmother ring with all of the family birthstones
her saying, Well, I love you honey.  You go tend to those children.
she never wanted to talk much more than 10 minutes on the phone
the way she used the eraser of her pencil to change the channel as she peered at the remote through her glasses
And so much more I remember....I will miss her so, so much!